Friday, April 24, 2015

take heart, my dear

In July of last year we welcomed our daughter, Mila, to this big scary world. Like most new & first time moms, I constantly worry if I'm doing this mom thing right. Am I holding her too much? Am I not holding enough? Should I let her cry it out? Is she too hot or too cold? It's stressful and you begin to question if you are doing enough and with so many people feeling the need to give their two cents it sometimes become overwhelming.

While advice from other moms can sometimes be valuable, it can also be quite a detriment. You begin to question your own judgement and in some cases lose confidence in your abilities. As women, we are in a constant battle. We judge, compare, and belittle other women. And this isn't new.

These behaviors start young - women start loosing confidence in their teens. You can blame society. You can blame social standing. You can blame peers. But blame isn't going to solve anything.

As I look at my daughter my heart aches - for love and fear. What will the world be like when she is in her teenage years? What battles will she face? It is a fear that undoubtedly most parents feels and I constantly wondering if I will be enough. Can I help provide my daughter with guidance when she is lost or comfort when she is hurt? Will my words be enough?

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and so not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" - Joshua 1:9


My darling Mila,
Every day since you were born, I have worried for you. I have been overjoyed by you. But most importantly, I have prayed over you.

In such a short amount of time you have brought so much joy to our lives. Your smile melts my heart and your giggle is contagious. Since day one you have been a fighter and you have overcome so much. You are feisty, silly, and strong. And at such a young age, you know pain and sadness.

My heart aches knowing that I can't keep you from pain or hurting. I have already began to worry about the trials you will face and you just started crawling. But the battle for your soul has begun. You will constantly be faced with choosing between your head, your heart, and society. As a woman you will be critiqued, repressed, and looked down on. Your confidence will be shaken and your heart will be broken. But I have good news -

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

Mila, you are loved more than you will ever be able to comprehend and I don't mean by your family. You are so loved that someone died for you. You are so loved that the perfect Savior of the world bared the grunt of your sins so that one day you could be with Him in paradise. Through Him you will find perfect peace.

I can't promise our relationship will be perfect. I can't promise there won't be moments where you really don't like me (and I'm sure the feeling will be mutual). I can't promise I will always understand. But I can promise I will be there with you every step of the way. Through the laugher, tears, and harsh words - I will always be here.

Life isn't easy. You will cry and feel broken but I can also promise you will laugh and you will be happy! You will get past the sad times and it will make you stronger. Trust me on this.

My sweet girl, if I could keep you from harm I would, but I can't. But take heart in knowing I have your back and so does the Savior of the world. So take on this world little one, just be home in time for bed ;)

Love,
Your crazy mom





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