It’s seems to be a blogger tradition to post a year-end “review” but as I sat here thinking about it, not a whole lot has changed in the last year for me. Sure, there have been events, both happy and sad. There have been high points and low points. There have been mistakes and hard choices… but at the end of 2012, I am right where I started the year. Same job, same house, same silly dogs, same husband… same, same, same….
And I am NOT saying “same” in a bad or sad way…. just… same…
A sadness sort of washes over me when I think about the last year and I will not miss 2012… it was far from memorable.
I am glad I got to go visit my two best friends… but it just made me miss them more.
I am glad my photography business is picking up… but I started to feel burned out and uninspired.
I am glad Vincent got a job… but I don’t like that we have to live separate for 3 months.
I am glad my family is healthy and happy… but I worry about the comings years.
…. There are a lot of “buts.”
I’ve become sort of an introvert/homebody. I’ve struggled with making friends, really for the first time in my life. I’ve gained 10 pounds as a result of being a homebody. I’ve lost a lot of my confidence. I’ve been very sad.
I read 2 Corinthians 4:18 the other day – “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but one what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
I get that our life here on earth is temporary but it doesn’t make the day-to-day stuff any easier.
So in the bloggin’ world of reviews and resolutions, I just want 2013 to be memorable.
I want to be happy.
I want to be confident.