Monday, June 18, 2012

happy father's day mom!

(I meant to post this yesterday, but since I was so busy I forgot. That being said... )

If you actually follow my blog, you’ll know that I am very close to my family… but that wasn’t the case until I got married four years ago.
Now, if you forgot, I got married at 18. Four days out of high school and I was walking down the aisle. Crazy right!? I know. So realistically I was still in that everything-my-mom-does-makes-me-mad phase.
Let me preface this by saying – my mom rocks. She has always been awesome, I just never fully appreciated her. She got me out of trouble a few times in school (yes… yes, she did), gave me more freedom than any of my friends (I’m talking no bed time, didn’t stalk my grade or homework, a flexible curfew – that kinda stuff), and pretty much never said no.
Now let me explain – she wasn’t an absent parent. Sure she worked full time to support my sister and me but she was around. And it’s not that she didn’t care what Claire and I were doing, she just wasn’t an over bearing and controlling mother (thank the Lord). And Claire and I were good kids. We have never smoked a cigarette or done any kind of drugs, we didn’t skip school without my mom’s permission (yea 5th period study-hall-waste-of-time!? Thanks mom ;), and made pretty good grades (top 10% here - what what!).
We had, for lack of a better word, a sacred trust. And I sure wasn’t going to do anything stupid to mess that up… but that doesn’t mean we didn’t bump heads… Oh boy did we - but that’s another post… maybe a whole novel ;)
ANYWAY – my mom and I were never “best friends” – which most of the times I truly hated. I know now that she was first a parent and then a friend – and that is how it SHOULD be. My mom always wore the parent hat first but also knew when to take it off and be a friend. Sure it wasn’t always smooth or helpful but I appreciate her separating those two responsibilities.
I didn’t fully value all my mom did for me but that’s not to say I didn’t thank her. I just look back and realize that she dealt with and put up with a lot of crap.
With yesterday being Father’s day, I felt it was important to thank my mom for the last 12 Father’s days that she has spent without my dad. The years she has spent being a “duel” parent.

An open “Thank You” to my mom:
Thank you….
·         … for “supporting” my weird food habits and obsessions. I know that wasn’t easy – on your pocket book or mental well- being ;)
·         … for taking us on travels around the world. From Europe to South America, from the Golden Gate Bridge to the Parthenon – thank you. I may have hated all those tours and museums at the time but now I treasure them
·         … for supporting my hobbies. I know those 2 years I took photography weren’t cheap and thanks for coming to all the games I cheered in (even though we both know I didn’t want to be there). Thank you for buying me the costumes I needed for drama productions and all that scrapbook supplies.
·         … for teaching me to hold my own, always use manners, and that I am stronger than I know.
·         … for buying me my first dSLR camera and first Apple computer (it’s been love ever since).
·         … for letting me be independent and finding my own way.
·         … for loving me through all the times I told you I “hated” or “couldn’t stand” you. We both know my temper was out of control 5 years ago and I am working everyday to be a better person. Thank you for being patient.
·         … for raising Claire and me close to Nanny and Papi. I could not have asked for better grandparents and I know now how important their influence has been on my life.
·         … for supporting Vincent and me during our first year of marriage. Without your help we would have had a house with no furniture and we would have had to live with that awful kitchen (thanks Doug!)
·         … for being a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type person… cause Lord knows I am not
·         … for teaching me that it’s ok to buy yourself presents and to pick out your presents for others to give you
·         … for being so calm after Vincent’s accident (and in any emergency really)
·         … for teaching me the importance of wearing cute shoes and investing in beautiful jewelry
·         … for being so strong after dad’s death. The fact that you stood with so much grace at the visitation and funeral at such a horrible time showed me how incredibly strong you are.
·         … for not crying a lot in front of us. I appreciate your need for privacy and I admire the fact that you put on a brave face for us.
·         … for letting Doug into your heart and ours.
·         … for anything, everything, and all that you do - for us and for others. Your drive, bravey, and selflessness never cease to amaze and puzzle me. You are too wonderful for words.
·         … for being you. Care-free, trusting, distracted, strong, impatient, beautifully made you.

Mom, I am proud to call you one of my best friends and I love you so much. Happy "Father’s" Day.

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